Karen Malcolm interviews the author

Dancing With Captain Mainwaring

Author Jack Dunnill as Captain Mainwaring

When did you begin writing and did you always envisage being an author?

I never envisaged becoming an author, although I always envisaged being a journalist. So I became one. It was as simple as that ... and I spent all my working life in the trade, including Fleet Street itself in its great years ... the Swinging Sixties. My mother used to say I was born with a pencil in my hand ... rather in the way our German friends are born with towels in their hands. I began writing at school ... hundreds of lines. “I must not put superglue and scorpions on the teacher’s chair” and so on. I am assuming they no longer have such punishments in the computer age of which I am a devout and grateful convert and have been for 30 years. From single lines I graduated to plays and poetry in my later school years and organised, edited and wrote most of a magazine in the RAF during my national service.

What is the novel about and what inspired you to write it?

“Dancing with the Captain” is a basically a romantic, comedy, crime novel set mostly on the world’s newest and biggest passenger cruise ship ... the White Satin. A fictitious ship, of course. Two years ago my wife and I booked a cruise on the MSC Armonia, an Italian ship. Genoa (no, of course you don’t, sorry) to Buenos Aires, calling at various ports in Europe and Brazil. We had been to Rio previously but it’s one of those places you’re happy to see again. As long as you keep your eyes open. It’s a muggers paradise. “Wham, bam! Thanks for your purse ma’am!” We had booked a balcony cabin on the top deck. Just to divert slightly. If you ever consider booking a cruise ... do at least make sure you upgrade to an outside cabin. It simply means you don’t have to join the legion of inside passengers on the dawn patrol, arising at 6am to reserve your sun bed. We lazed around our huge cabin, both inside and on the balcony all morning before doing a little socialising from lunchtime onwards. We heard so many weird stories ... such as people dragging sun beds into lifts and taking them into their cabins and others sleeping all night on deck to make sure of reserving them. So I started to make a few notes ... just so I wouldn’t forget. From that it gradually evolved. Initially, I thought it would make a humorous article but then I thought if I introduced a few characters it might make a something a little longer, maybe a one-act play. What changed this idea was the ship’s entertainment. It had a rather limited format because of the large number of nationalities on board. The British were in the minority and we were sad losers. English was always the last of the six languages in which announcements were made, often by people who could neither speak it nor understand it. Fortunately, a good slice of the entertainment format was a team of English (or British) girl dancers. They were quite raunchy. So I thought I might incorporate a dance troupe and tabloid newspaper reporter. Suddenly, I had the beginnings of a book,

What is the main purpose you hope people will gain from the book?

Simply to entertain. Plus a secondary aim of introducing a number of readers to two new worlds of which they may not have either great knowledge or experience... cruising and modern media. And I would be very disappointed if they didn’t have a damn good laugh on the way.
It’s not meant to be taken seriously, or judged as a literary masterpiece.
I mean how can you take seriously a book which includes such gems as the story about two women passengers in their mid-seventies, fighting over sun beds. One was hitting the other with her Zimmer frame? Yet it happened. That lady swung a mean Zimmer frame.
I have had quite a few genuine testimonials from readers, some of whom have worked on cruise ships, complimenting me on the accuracy of the book. That’s always nice and a reward for diligent work. I have also had tributes to the accuracy of my descriptions of the places we visited.

What advice would you give to other budding writers?

Very little. I wouldn’t be so presumptuous. Anyway, I wouldn’t want other people invading my patch. After all, it’s taken me 72 years to produce a novel and I have been writing full-time since I was 18.
To be completely serious, I don’t feel most potential authors would want to follow my credo.
I started out with four aims: 1.) No graphic sex; 2.) No obscene language; 3.) No gratuitous violence; and 4.) Strict adherence Elvis factor.
Sounds deadly dull dunnit? But it isn’t which proves a big point. By “Elvis factor” I mean no words which the barely-educated lad from a deprived estate who was lumbered with that name by an unthinking parent would not instantly recognise. Many newspapers work on the “Elvis factor” code.
One thing I would suggest to newcomers is to attempt to make certain that their first three or four paragraphs have impact and arrest the reader’s attention. Believe me, many a potentially good book has been rejected for that failing.

What other books or authors inspired you to write?

None really.
I admire many authors but most of my fiction reading is restricted to holidays when there is no pressure on time. And I don’t want heavy stuff on holiday.
I find it hard to read for long periods when we’re back home in Blighty.
Authors I admire most are those with the ability to align good conversation to good descriptive writing.

Do you see yourself as a one genre author or are there other elements in your writing that you can see yourself developing further into future novels?

At my age, to be quite honest, I don’t see a massive, long-term future as an author in any genre. I don’t think I am likely to rival Barbara Cartland’s output of 700-plus books.
I have already written a second novel ... a sort of what happened next rather than a definitive sequel, featuring some of the original characters but with less of a cruising element and a completely new plot..
It is also, I hope, humorous. I haven’t yet offered it for publication.
I like making people laugh and I could never see myself straying too far from comedy although there must, of course, be other facets.
I have been asked to speak at several authors’ forums where I watched many other speakers laboriously reading passages from their books in dull monotones. If they only realised they were actually putting people off. You could see people sneaking glances at their watches with glazed eyes.
So I decided to do a bit of a stand-up routine when it came to my turn and talk about lots of other things than just the book. I sold quite a few books, too.

What inspired you for the title of your book?

The title wrote itself.
As I have said the central characters on the cruise are a tabloid reporter Alan Hale and Kate Hammond, an ex-colleague and now leader of the dancing group (or troupe). Plus the other five girls from her team. A chain of circumstances leads to the ship’s captain owing Hale a big favour so he agrees to do a high-kicking photo-shoot with the girls in full costume in front of the ship’s bridge. His paper splashes the picture across the front page and it goes round the world. TV follows it up and they all become celebrities.
There was really no other possible title.
I wrote the book at a time the recession was still a big factor and the world was looking for a “good news” story as a diversion

What do you like to do when you are not writing?

I’m a keen golfer ... but only a fair-weather one now.
I don’t play in rain or high winds which puts me at a bit of a disadvantage because I am a member of a moorland club and they only get one wind-free day every decade up there.
In younger days I was a bit of a “one-hit wonder”. I hit the ball once and it was lost.
Now I’m steadier and the last time I checked my handicap was 14.
I love football and watch a lot of it on television. I don’t support any team. I’m just a fan of the game. There would be a lot less disappointment and trouble in life if more people had this attitude. When I watch a match I simply want the best team to win.
I also like music, particularly hard-rock. I went to hundreds of concerts and saw all the world’s great bands in my younger days. But I drew a line under that when I reached a certain age. I still listen though and watch concerts on television. I have been heavily involved with an am-dram group both as a writer and actor. But now that my wife and I are away so much (we have our own apartment in Turkey) I have taken much more of a back seat. I played Mainwaring in the stage version od "Dad's Army" not long ago and it was a nightmare having to go through lines every day on holiday.

What other authors/books do you like to read?

I like lots of authors, particularly those with a gift for story-telling. To me that’s even more important than brilliant writing ability. Of course, the very best are those who combine both.
I will pick up on an author and then read several of their books. Just recently, I have enjoyed books by Dean Koontz, an American writer.
I am always willing to try authors other people recommend. But I despise books which which contain masses of vile language and graphic sex. They are despatched quickly to the charity shops under plain wrapper.

Do you feel your background has helped you with your new career as a novelist?

Yes, yes, yes, yes!
Forty years as a full-time journalist enabled me to write “Dancing with the Captain” in about three weeks. I am sure Barbara Cartland would have said: “What took you so long?”
Of course, I spent several hours afterwards tweaking and fine tuning but the basic work was done quickly.
If I had thought it would take me a month to write a single chapter I would never have started. Just to digress a little. some readers may think that I have been a little hard on travel writers. Without giving too much away, I was once on a routine reporting job with a handful of other daily newspapermen.
Suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, the “routine job” became a story of considerable national importance.
We were all delighted to get first crack at it … except one. We were called in to do an interview and I turned to a rival newspaper colleague I had known for many years and liked, smiled and said: “Let’s go!”
But he wasn’t there. He was disappearing down the stairs.
“Come on ….! We don’t want to be late,” I shouted. “We’ve just got the call to go in.”
“Sod that for a game of soldiers,” he shouted back up the stairs. “I don’t touch news stories. I don’t get paid for it. Let the news department handle it.”
“Are you going to let them know then?” I asked.
“You do it, will you, please mate?” he said before departing.
He was, of course, a travel writer, happily earning extra money moonlighting … but not prepared to put in any extra time.

Do you do a lot of research before you start writing?

Not before starting but the idea for my book evolved gradually. I didn’t just wake up one morning, look in the mirror and say: “Today you are going to write a book!”
But I certainly did a lot of both research and checking of facts during the writing process. The Internet certainly is a wonderful place. I used that for developing places and settings.

How do you write pen and paper? Computer?

Oh, computer. The Great Lord Computer.
I am fortunate enough to have worked with computers and work stations and all forms of desk-top publishing for the best part of 30 years. I feel thoroughly at home with either laptop or pc and find that ideas come much more easily sitting at a keyboard. For me, computers have been the saviour of the lazy writer.
I do also usually have a pen and small notebook handy just in case I get some gem of an idea in the pub or on the golf course, although most of them are usually discarded later. Ideas driven by alcohol and adrenaline can be very dodgy.

Do any of the characters in the book relate to your own life?

Alan Hale, the central male character, is a tabloid national newspaper journalist which obviously I was for the best part of 35 years. So I put my knowledge of newspaper practice to good effect. But he’s a youngish lad so there the likeness ends.
But many of the characters he meets on the ship are similar to ones my wife and I have met on various cruises.
Particularly the perpetual cruise moaners, the serial whingers. Boats are full of them. On the MSC Sinfonia on our latest cruise we heard someone say on the third day: “I can’t wait to get off this bloody boat.” And there was another fortnight to go. Someone did eventually offer to accommodate his wishes and throw him overboard if he didn’t shut up.
Yes, of course, if you want, you can always find something to complain about. But we are “half full” rather than “half empty” people and we always try to find something positive rather than brood over the negative.
People are terribly rude and possessive about sun beds. It’s usually a straight fight between the Germans and the English. On the Sinfonia there was one smallish, completely wind-protected deck notoriously named “Pier 39” after the one in San Francisco where the sea lions squabble on miniscule pontoons all day. It was a log jam of human flesh. You had to be there by 7am to have any chance of getting a bed. Please, note my previous advice about outside cabins. Barbara Cartland, of course, would always have the owner’s suite.

What feedback have you had from family and friends or other people who have read your novel?

I would like to pay tribute to my wife Beryl here, please. She is my biggest supporter and critic. She helped a great deal with checking grammar, punctuation and making suggestions as to where something could be improved ... or a character introduced or enlarged upon.
Lots of positives feedbacks from family and friends ... but you wouldn’t really expect anything else, would you? You’re not going to get your sister ringing up and saying it was load of garbage. I’ve had lots of completely unsolicited testimonials, though.
When we returned from a holiday a few weeks ago there was a very charming message on our answer machine.
It said: "I think I am right in assuming you are the author of "Dancing with the Captain". I was the first person to take it out of the library. And I found it absolutely delightful. I have spent many years as a pianist working on cruise liners, including the QE2, the Aurora and the Oriana. I thought you caught the ambience of the cruising scene perfectly. If you wish to use my comments as a reference for publicity please do so. But I would prefer you didn’t tell anyone I am your brother in law.”
Just joking.